PRESIDENT TRUMPS INAUGURAL DINNER
President Trump has given a good deal of thought, not only to the appointment of his cabinet officials and advisors but to preparation of his Inaugural Dinner. The White House chef, Hannibal Lector, was placed in charge of the menu and will personally oversee the preparation of a range of delicacies. The exotic menu focusing on swamp creatures will be noted after some preliminary remarks. Unfortunately, for some the Inaugural Dinner became known as the Last Supper for Presidential dignitaries.
I frankly confessed that I was taken in by news reports on Mr. Trump. My original thoughts about President Elect Trump were based on his TV performances and the internet writings of liberal-left pundits. I and millions of Americans were seriously misled, Donald is just a great actor playing a part in the American Drama. For more than a year Donald seemed to be endlessly trumpeting on TV day and night. After some months of viewing performances on CNN, BBC, and Fox News I came to smile at Jon Stewart’s labeling of Mr. Trump as “FuckFaceVonClownstick.” Given Trump’s alleged anti-semitism that seemed to be more appropriate than another name bantered around, “Trumpenstein.” If Frankenstein was meant, not an anti-semitic slur, it is clear that Trump never bit female necks for blood, he just kissed the ladies while gently groping the more interesting parts. At the time it seemed to me that his staged mannerisms, wild statements, populist rantings, and bragging about his success as an entrepreneur indicated the Billionaire Trump had delusions of grandeur. It was made to appear that Trump stood tall in his misogynic and racist political incorrectness. His image was that of a real Stand Up Cat, as opposed to Hillary Clinton as a Lay Down Kitten for financial and corporate interests. Trump strutted around with what one complaining lady said was his embarrassing four inch erection. (She recently filed suite for inadequate performance and breach of contract). Still, his star status gave him the privilege to “grab women by the pussy.” Trump surely does like to fondle kittens, but had a hard time getting it up for Hillary. No doubt that trump likes to give the finger to women, but also to the Republican Establishment (some said even to common decency). His policy on the rape of nature was capsulized as “fuck the environment.” Anyone paying attention could arrive at the conclusion that Trump is more than a serial groper and tit gazer, he is a school yard bully with the USA and now the world as his turf. For America he plans to be Der Fuhrer and for the world domain Emperor.
These were my thoughts about Sir Donald up to November 9, 2016. After that date he began to appoint his cabinet officials and White House and National Security Advisors. Then I began to see that I may have maliciously wronged him. (I tried to take out nasty things said about him in the verse “Republican Zombies in America, Inc.” but the publisher said the copy was ready for publication and could not be changed. So I will make my apologies explicit in this last minute addition to the book).
Trump had promised the many voters insecure of their status in a changing world and those being downgraded in privilege that he would drain the Beltway Swamp of insiders and plutocrats. Then I began to follow the alternative news on the internet. Many were saying that Trump’s cabinet and advisor appointment are an astounding array of Generals enamored of war (but who never ended nor worn a war), the richest of the rich, and the most unqualified imaginable to head agencies or give wise counsel. The Left pointed at Christian fundamentalists, misogynists, climate-change deniers, conspiracy-theory advocates, war mongers, the .01% of the 1% to make up a cabinet and set of advisors. Trump may decide to shut down this so-called alternative media where such lies are daily sent out all over the world. Writers continue to say that his appointments are the fiercest among the dangerous swamp rats. That we will be governed by kleptocrats and warlords. Some of this propaganda was picked up abroad. Even the conservative German newspaper Der Spiegel depicted a caricature of Trump as a meteor beaming toward earth. The caption read “Das Ende Der Velt!”
Trump promised a new deal for American workers and the Middle Class, so injured by free trade. Trump has created a new Office of Trade that presumably will pull out of or renegotiate trade deals such as NAFTA, CAFTA, and other with the Pacific countries and Europe that Obama was pushing. One wonders how this office will deal with all the financial elites, free-traders, and globalists with firm commitments to neoliberalism that Trump has appointed to the highest posts. The betrayal of the party base by reneging on promise in nothing new for either Republicans or Democrats. (Hannibal has promised Trump that this appointee will be served at the Inaugural dinner a Mexican enchilada made with imported U.S. corn meal, stuff and Flavored with mescal worms and warmed with the exhaust of a Ford vehicle manufactured in Mexico).
Anyway the criticisms are all left-liberal claptrap. The proof of this is President Trump’s very first appointment. Hannibal Lector will be Chief White House Chef. Surely Chef Lector will now what to do swamp rats. It is rumored that the Inaugural Dinner will feature delectable side courses of a marine animal nature served with the best German Liebfraumilch and, Mussolini’s favorite, fava beans in tomato sauce and the finest Chianti as a chaser.
Before demonstrating how Our President and his Chef Hannibal will take care of our country I will summarize what the right-wing media are putting out as analysis.
Americans can now sleep in peace and comfort without fear of terrorist attacks. President Trump has appointed two outstanding persons to take charge of bringing an end to terrorism by doing in all those suspected of terrorism. Trump understood that we need a tough military man as head of Homeland Security and a no-nonsense Attorney General. We American’s have been subject to insecurity for too many years.
For Homeland Security John Kelly, a retired General who was for a time in charge of the Guantanamo prison that housed our very worst terrorist enemies. When Guantanamo prisoners staged a protest hunger strike Kelly knew just what to do, forced feeding to keep them alive and responsive to interrogation. It is unclear whether the forced feeding was by way of rectal insertions as the CIA had practiced in other dark sites. Hydration was not a torture technique. The prisoners got plenty of water to drink in their frequent interrogation by water boarding.
The other appointee to be proud of that will work to stop terrorism is Jeff Sessions as Attorney General. Sessions will surely appoint a new head of the FBI. This agency spent nearly half its budget on infiltrating Muslim organizations and trying to entrap terrorists, but somehow never got a single conviction. We can assume that the FBI and Justice Department will invent more effective means of doing in terrorists than bringing them to trail. Sessions has been accused of being a racist. While the charge goes way back to remarks he made that disqualified him from appointment as a federal judge, he has mellowed with his years as Senator from Alabama. Nevertheless, his background and thinking will surely lead to actions that contribute to the eclipse of the potential terrorist group, Black Lives Matter, just as the Black Panthers were taken care of in the 1960s. No doubt the Justice Department will now work with local police forces to step up the containment and control of ghetto crime, murder, and drug trafficking. Sessions has indicated that stepping up the War on Drugs will be a priority. In the police containment work there will be special programs to stop and frisk young black men who might be traffickers. Shootings by police of resisters will be condoned. The War on Drugs will also be a main weapon to deal with immigrants, most of whom are dealers or addicts, and to be jailed. Many are also serial rapists, deflowering our young native born white girls. Homeland Security will cooperate in building more private prisons and internment camps. To be on the safe side, Sessions seems to favor a policy that all illegal immigrants be deported, rounding up first all Muslims and Mexicans, illegal or not. Together with building the Great Wall of Trump on our Southern Border and ending the Mexico part of NAFTA that takes jobs away from Americans, we can expect an end to the flow of drugs and terrorism.
The CIA Director appointment, Mike Pompeo, has said nothing about torture techniques, so we can assume he has convictions that there are means of extracting intelligence that have more efficacy and are less controversial. Lining suspects against a wall and threatening firing squad death has never been defined as torture. It seems that the new Director wants to expand agency activities, especially the National Security Agency, NSA, to the home front. In the Wall Street Journal Mr. Pompeo said “Legal and Bureaucratic impediments to surveillance should be removed.” Naturally, CIA vigilance on the home front and throughout the world will be stepped up in order to make America safe from terrorism and subversion. The CIA can perhaps do more to “Make American Great Again” than another other agency. Abroad the CIA has vast experience in regime change of countries who don’t accept American Greatness. That Pompeo is taken seriously is confirmed by the governments of Cuba, Venezuela, Ecuador, and Bolivia that have communicated a heads up to each other and installed the latest unbreakable encryption technology, an invention by a 16 year old student at the Havana Institute of Technology. These countries pledged mutual support to combat U.S. efforts at regime change.
Pompeo was a prominent Republican on the Congressional Committee that went after Hillary Clinton for her negligence in allowing the 2011 attack on the American Ambassador to Libya in Benghazi. The Committee knew that Benghazi was a CIA station supporting and arming insurgents in Syria and well as Libya. For the record they got Clinton to deny that jihadist grouping were being aided by the Ambassador and CIA personal. Pompeo supports with great enthusiasm and dedication CIA support for Islamic insurgents, regime change in Syria and Latin America, and combating terrorism by any means throughout the world. This policy may lead to greater war in the short run, but in the end America will have recaptured its greatness.
Trump’s choice for Secretary of State was a brilliant move. For Secretary the nominee is Rex Tillerson, former CEO of Exxon-Mobil. Trump described Tilllerson as a “world class player.” It appears that Tillerson is a buddy to Trump’s closes friend abroad, Vladimir Putin, who is keen on oil deals. In his campaign, Trump made a big point of forcing NATO to pay for their own defense. This policy and oilman Tillerson as Secretary could be a major step in ending the Cold War with Russia, as well as reducing the military budget for the cost of all those American missiles surrounding Russian borders. Now the compliant neo-fascist regime in the Ukraine wiil help Europe keep Russia subdued. On the other hand, some analysts claim that Trump and Tillerson will heat up a not-so-cold-war with China, a country that has been stealing the good jobs in American industry and building military bases on rocks in the South China Sea. One of Trump’s first phone calls was with the President of Taiwan assuring him that there will be a review of the long standing policy of viewing Taiwan as a province of China.
To have an oil magnet as Secretary of State is complementary to other cabinet appointees in charge of our national energy policy, especially Scott Pruitt, head of the Environmental Protection Agency. This appointment was complemented with Cathy McMorris Rodgers to the Interior Department. These appointees as well as the President’s Council of Economic Advisors, will do much for the sustainable, job generating development of the country. Clearly clean energy is but a very long term goal. In the meanwhile it is necessary to make large, job generating investments in oil exploration off-shore, in the Artic, and everywhere. Fracking for natural gas, shale oil mining and pipelines to refineries, and clean coal will be the goal. Corporations in these activities may receive a bonus to the general corporate tax cut designed to encourage corporations to invest and provide jobs. Scott Pruitt thinks, along with most of the other Trump appointees, that global warming is a myth. His home state Oklahoma he explained has experienced continuing cold winters and snow storms– so much for the nonsense of climate change.
The new EPA Director prefers to eliminate the agency as an unnecessary fetter on business activity, but first plans to drain all swamps so that no can wade into one and hide from federal authorities. His main job will be to entrench energy policy. After that the EPA can be allowed to wither. The Transition Team has asked that a list of all the personnel of the EPA who have been working on climate change be sent to the President’s Office. Additionally the State Department has been asked to list all employees who focus on gender equality and ending violence against women. Presumably, lay-offs of these superfluous employees will help reduce bloating bureaucracy and unnecessary expenditure on programs based on false premises.
Cathy McMorris Rodgers is an excellent pick for the Director of the Interior Department. For too long National Parks have been claimed by elitist outdoor enthusiasts like the Sierra Club as their exclusive domain. Rodgers advocates turning over National Parks to oil, gas, and mineral corporations for exploration and development. The nature freaks will just have to learn to skirt oil derricks and to marvel at the technology that makes magnificent open pit shale mines. This appointment too complements those of Secretaries of State and the Director of the EPA
Some left-wing pundits are asking “What happened to his promise to drain the swamp of Washington Insiders and Plutocrats, and especially Wall Street financiers.” The appointment of many bankers to important cabinet posts is a little curious, given President Trump’s criticism of Hillary Clinton’s ties to Wall Street in general and Goldman Sachs in particular. It is well known that Goldman Sachs CEO Blankfein contributed large sums to Hillary’s campaign and to the Clinton Foundation. Both Hillary and Bill Clinton gave talks at Goldman Sachs and were very nicely compensated (well over a million dollars). It was expected that Hillary would be President and CEO Blankfei n would be appointed Secretary of the Treasury, and he in turn would recommend appointment of the head of the Federal Reserve, the Securities and Exchange Commission, and the Department of Commerce. At one point CEO Blankfein said: “If there’s some secret international cabal, I’ve been left out of the party again.” Just before the election Trump used an image of Blankfein in a TV ad to argue that insiders like him had ruined the lives of Americans to enrich themselves. Trump argued that a global power structure, with bankers at the center, had robbed the working class, striped the country of it is wealth, and put all the gain in corporations, political entities, and banks. Trump would “drain the swamp.”
It is a strange world indeed, since it is mostly Goldman Sachs affiliates that are now filling key positions in the Trump Administration. Steve Mnuchin will guard the Treasury. Mnuchin is the fourth Goldman Sachs Treasury Secretary in the last four presidencies, preceded by Bob Rubin, Lawrence Summers, and Hank Paulson. Steve Bannon, Trump’s chief strategist, may have a lot to do with these appointments as he is a former Goldman Sachs banker, as is presidential adviser Anthoney Scaramucci. Additionally, Goldman’s Chief Operating Officer Gary Cohn is to head the post of Director of the National Economic Council. To round out the bankers appointments Blackstone Capital’ CEO Stephen Schwarzman and JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon are honchos in the Strategic and Policy Forum. Wall Street lawyer Jay Clayton will be charge of policing and deregulation of banking at the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). Surprisingly, no banker was appointed to the Department of Commerce, which went to the Steel Baron Wilbur Ross. The Wall Street Journal said that Trump owns at least $1.85 billion in debt to 150 Wall Street firms. Is some quid pro quo expected with the power of the Presidency helping Wall Street with fat appointments? Only some left-wing conspiracy nuts would think like that. Trump and Hannibal Lector have thought of other ways to deal with bankers.
Well what can we make of all the bankers. First, obviously Goldman Sachs execs were sampling what was blowin’ in the wind, waiting to see wind direction and velocity and then switched sides. Perhaps in Trump’s pronouncements about cleaning the swamp he meant Obama, Democrats who thought they had an in with the banking elite, many of the staff of EPA and State Department do-gooders, and other agency personnel doing nothing but waste taxpayers money. Especially subject to the axe will be thousands of dead weights in the agencies having to do with government handouts to those who choose not to go out and get a good job and pay their own way. Tom Price, Health and Human Services Secretary, who will defund Planned Parenthood, knows that a fertilized egg is a person and should not be murdered by abortion. Contraceptive services will be cut from health programs. Price will be principle stockholder in a private adoption company for all the unwanted babies. Price of new-borns is said to be very high in some countries. Ben Carson, Head of Housing and Urban Development, says of the fair housing rule “This is what you see in Communist Countries.” Since neurosurgeon Dr. Carson only knows how to give lobotomies to voters, he will leave it the bankers in the mortgage rip-off business to evolve housing policy. In the educational sphere we are fortunate to have Betsy deVos. She, is determined to break teachers unions, change the public school system to one of Charter schools run for profit but paid from public funds.
Representative Mick Mulvaney (R-SC) will direct the Office of Management and Budget and has announced his intention to privatize Medicare. Management and Budget is required to program and report the cost of all Federal programs. In the case of the lease of National Park lands and public lands in general, exploration rights for oil, gas, and minerals will not be charged a fee and thus not appear as a cost. Some critics say this in unfair to the taxpayer, but others say that our energy policy, a cornerstone for economic recovery will create economic development and good jobs.
Of course, Trump’s appointments, while taken seriously by many, and praised by the alt-right, is only a clever ruse by our President to show that he is really serious about clearing the ambient of swamp rats. That’s why Hannibal Lector is Chef. Another of his primary side dish will be the Wall Street banker’s brains sautéed in hallucinogenic mushroom sauce. Chef Lector ran into a problem with some of the Goldman Sachs people because the brain grey matter had atrophied, so he scalped some younger executives from Bank and American and Wells Fargo. Enough grey matter was removed from all banker appointees so that they can walk and talk, but we no longer have to worry about their thinking up new schemes to fleece the public and reward the 1%.
From those appointed to social service agencies Hannibal’s dishes will be blood drawn while undergoing a physical exam required by the President and mixed with pig fat to make delectable blood sausages. On the advice of Planned Parenthood, Hannibal decided that Tom Price of Health and Human Services will be served fertilized human eggs in placenta sauce as his main dish with the blood sausages a side plate, with the expectation that he will excuse himself from the feast and never be heard from again.
Hannibal and Donald conferred at length about how to serve up the Generals in the Department of Defense and many other agencies. Mike Flynn, National Security Advisor, was first to be discussed, then James “Mad Dog” Mattis, Secretary of Defense. Gen. Mattis is also responsible for oversight of the Corp or Army Engineers that must grant approvals for pipelines. Some hawks thought that that pipelines were essential to national energy security and if this meant reviving the Indian Wars, so be it. How the nickname Mad Dog came about I don’t know, but it may have originated after Corporal Manning released Iraq atrocity tapes to Wikileaks. (Ms. Manning I sorry to report that the Prison Authorities have forwarded your male parts to Chef Hannibal, but am pleased to say that Hannibal has refused to use them in any way).
It was decided that the most appropriate side dish for generals would be roasted testicles in an egg vessel, bathed in hollandaise sauce and surrounded by all the service metals granted the lot. Unfortunately, General Mike Flynn’s balls were so tough they had to be pressure cooked before serving. This was presumed due to his extensive stays in Iraq and Afghanistan where he overdid his sexual prowess by visits to every whorehouse that he could find, as well as having nightly ventures into the private harems provided by those locals he promoted to political position. General John Kelley refused to eat his testicle delight. Eight security guards were necessary to force feed him. After the Dinner he declared that he will head Homeland Security only long enough to see that the agency and all its stupid programs were dismantled. The one exception of gourmet testicles was General Mattis, who commanded during the November 2004 seige of Fallujah that left 5,000 dead civilians. It was thought fitting that, after castration, he should be denied his last supper and deposited without ceremony in the mass grave of Fallujah victims.
It is expected that after Hannibal’s specialties that what is left of Banker’s brains will atrophy so that they can do no harm and that the eunuch generals will leave war to history and fight for peace.
Hannibal gave great thought to an appropriate dinner for President Trump. He decided the first course would be a Russian borscht soup with beets imported from Uzbekistan, with a drop of crude oil for consistency. To give the borscht true red color Hannibal imported frozen blood from jihadist fighters in Syria. The soup was spiked with a bit of Colombian cocaine and sprinkled with Afghan poppy seed. To accompany the soup, the President was served a wine glass of Liebfraumilch, not from German Rhine grapes, but genuine mother’s breast milk. For the first time in his outstanding career as Chef, Hannbal was stymied what to prepare as the President’s main course.