Honor Tomas Ayala.
Tomas Ayala was a good man who was loved deeply by his family and friends. He had a bright future ahead of him and he followed the traditional ways of his Yaqui and Navajo family. Tragically, Tomas passed away on May 13th after being struck by a drunk driver. He was 20 years old.
No family is ever prepared for this. Despite existing protocols for this type of tragedy occuring in the Town of Sahuarita, Arizona; the town failed to support the Ayala family when they needed it most. This failure caused their family to be robbed of a private and peaceful grieving; instead they were forced to be distracted by insensitive demands from the town. The events unfolding after this tragedy exposed the need for proper evaluation in how the Sahuarita Police Department handled this delicate situation; and also how the Town Council needs to create new protocols to properly support a family experiencing tragedy.
Though Tomas only spent 20 years in his physical form on this planet, he left an everlasting impression in the hearts and minds of those who knew and loved him.
According to Tomas’s father, Gabriel Ayala, Tomas spread a message of love and togetherness. He is remembered for being a teacher to anyone who would listen. Tomas was an actor, artist, and cello player. He was a son, brother and beloved friend; he brought light, laughter and wisdom to his family who miss him dearly.
Tomas is remembered for his excellent culinary skills. His artistic talent and love for cooking resulted in amazing dishes enjoyed by all.
He walked in prayer and practiced Indigenous ceremonies, living life as a spiritual person. Tomas was also a gifted singer, knowing songs in his traditional language. He was a hard worker and his positive attitude enabled others around him to be their very best.
On the night of May 13th, the worst scenario imaginable for any parent became a reality for Gabriel and Juanita Ayala, Tomas’s father and mother. Two miles from home, their son’s bright star reached its apex – leaving behind broken hearts and warm memories.
Tomas didn’t come home that night, and he wasn’t answering his phone – so Gabriel went out looking for his son. When he arrived near the scene of the accident, a police officer abruptly informed him that his son was deceased. The officer’s cold delivery of such unthinkable news sent a shock through Gabriel’s system. Members of law enforcement told Gabriel to go back home; he said no.
Gabriel told Green Valley News that it is Indigenous tradition to stay with one’s relatives. One officer stood out from the rest for her kindness, and Gabriel was allowed to stay and provide a blanket for his son. The coroner also allowed Gabriel to pray over his son’s body before he was taken away.
For any parent, the nightmare of losing a child is unimaginable. The decisions that take place after the loss of a loved one can be incredibly difficult. There is so much planning to do, already compounded by grief. The Ayala family encountered unexpected demands from the town which added more trauma to their already shattered home.
Just four days after the crash, they placed a memorial at the side of the road where Tomas was taken too soon. The memorial included a dragonfly (symbol for protection); along with cards, rocks, flowers and some of their son’s favorite dishes. While there was no real closure to be had, it was only right that they honored the life of their son.
Unfortunately, local law enforcement didn’t see it that way. One day after erecting the memorial, the police arrived at the Ayala’s home and knocked on the door. The officers told the Ayalas that they had committed a violation by setting up a roadside memorial without applying for a permit and paying a $200 fee. They were informed that the Department of Public Works planned on tearing down the memorial. The police did not mention Tomas at all; their focus was the removal of the memorial and collection of the fee. The police were supposed to visit the family’s home the day after the accident to update the family with information but instead, they came several days late asking for $200.
Later, an employee for Public Works told the Ayala family that they were not aware of the memorial and they had no idea why the police came to their house. Afterwards, a detective and police sergeant visited the Ayala household and Gabriel did not mince words; he told them that they failed his son and they failed at their duties.
The Town of Sahuarita showed more concern with the location of the roadside memorial than they were with giving the Ayala family answers about their son.
The Ayala family should have been supported by the town of Sahuarita but instead, in the midst of Gabriel Ayala’s most difficult loss, he found himself needing to speak at the May 22nd Town Council meeting. With incredible strength, Gabriel shared his experience with the Town Council. At this point, a week had almost passed since the loss of his son. He was still without answers. “We haven’t even started talking about my son.” He said, “How are we able to start even trying to mourn when we don’t have any information from anyone? I’m so disappointed at how this was handled.”
This resulted in an email sent to Gabriel from Town Manager, Shane Dille offering “sincere condolences for your son Tomas.”
Says Dille, “I took your comments during the Town Council meeting on Monday to heart, and they have weighed on me this week. I thank you for your candor.” Dille then reiterated his issues with the roadside memorial. “In this case, I see that our desire to take prompt action to keep roadways safe collided with your need as a family for space and time to grieve in privacy and honor your son with a memorial tribute. It was unfortunate timing and it is regrettable that the permitting issue caused any additional stress of suffering to your family during an already trying time. We are grateful to you for taking the time to adjust the location of Tomas’ memorial as soon as you are able, in order to keep our roadways safe. I hope that you will accept my hand in brotherhood and allow the Town of Sahuarita to support you however you need.”
Last Real Indians spoke with Mayor Tom Murphy and Town Manager Shane Dille to get answers as to why the Ayala family was not being shown respect and care. There are other issues in the way the police interacted with the Ayalas that were incredibly insensitive, warranting further discussion. Those issues will be made public once the body cam footage is received.
Mayor Tom Murphy expressed sadness in the way the Ayalas were treated throughout this process. He stated, “this is a learning opportunity and we plan to do better.” He shared that a meeting had taken place between Chief of Police John Noland, Town Manager Shane Dille and himself. They discussed where they went wrong and how they plan to create a better response to this type of tragedy.
Town Manager Shane Dille also admitted that there’s need for improvement. When asked about the town’s policy of police visiting the family the following day after an accident, Shane Dille said, “We did not do that and we failed.” He stated that the town is in the process of creating a new protocol in which a family will be given an information packet detailing “information about the town’s guidelines on memorials.”
Shane shared that he would like to speak with Gabriel to apologize and share the changes that will take place. He is waiting for Gabriel to contact him when he is ready, as he knows the family will need time. In the meantime, Shane promises that the police will be contacting the Ayala family soon with answers. Shane apologized and seemed to express genuine regret with how this unfolded. An apology is often the first step, but the real apology lives in the actions that follow.
More than 400 people gathered in celebration for a traditional ceremony honoring the life of Tomas Ayala. Tomas chose love instead of hate, such was his philosophy. His family misses him dearly. They are still deeply wounded by his death, and the Town of Sahuarita needs to start supporting this family in the ways they say they can. We all need to rally behind the Ayala family and in love – demand accountability and change.
Tomas’ light can never be extinguished and will shine brightly by those who loved him, keeping his memory in their hearts.
“Everybody Love Everybody” – Tomas Ayala