Exciting news guys! Amazon has created a new robot, the Astro, to spy on people in their homes – and this one is smarter and sneakier than the Alexa.
Tanya Basu of MIT Technology Review reports, “Amazon has a new plan for its home robot Astro: to guard your life … The cute home assistant could be the most powerful, invasive home robot we’ve seen thus far.”
It might be cute, but you have to ignore the fact that it’s watching you while you’re on the toilet and zapping your dog for getting in the way.
“Amazon announced Wednesday that its home robot, Astro, will be getting a slew of major updates aimed at further embedding it in homes – and in our daily lives,” Basu continues.
That’s not cute, it’s terrifying! Why does it have its own drones? Nothing that comes with drones is your friend. I don’t care if it’s a Dunkin’ Donuts Rainbow Cupcake. It shouldn’t have drones!
We’re just inviting a tiny military that doesn’t bleed into our homes. Who knows what that thing’s up to all day! Sure, it starts out nice and friendly – checking to make sure your doors are locked, pointing out a spot you missed while you were sweeping – but then it starts looking for your drug stash, checking your porn preferences, finding old letters to your ex you couldn’t bring yourself to throw out, and alerting Amazon HQ to the fact you have some stolen rocks from your trip to the Grand Canyon. I won’t accept that. I want privacy. Everyone has secrets, and if you don’t have secrets, you need to get a more interesting life.
With new technology, people always argue it’s fine at first. Like Roomba for instance. People thought it was just a vacuum robot. It wasn’t up to anything, right? Then, as reported by VICE, we found out that Amazon bought the Roomba company so they could map the inside of your house. I don’t want Jeff Bezos to know about my crawl space, my safe room or my his and hers love toilets. I thought I was getting a vacuum slave, but it turned out he was a narc.
Amazon’s surveillance efforts keep growing. Basu writes, “Amazon, which bought Ring in 2018, pitched the pairing as a way to further guard small businesses from break-ins…” I would have no problem with that. But The Washington Post reported soon afterward that Ring had signed deals with police departments across the country.
Basically, by putting a Ring camera on your house, you’re inviting the cops to sit on your porch.
“Ring has also been called out for racial profiling and privacy violations,” continues Basu.
That’s right. Ring camera is racist! Just imagine how Astro will be! He’ll be following your Black friends around your house, acting like they’re about to steal your stuff.
Look, here’s the bottom line. With every new technology, you can’t just imagine it in the hands of nice people who want to help you protect your comic book collection. You have to picture that technology in the hands of the worst people in the world.
Watch the full report above.